• Marina Machete is the first transgender woman to place at Miss Universe. 
• Miss Portugal changed its rules in 2022 to allow trans women, making her eligible to compete. 
• Machete told BI that she felt supported by pageant fans during her time at Miss Universe.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Marina Machete, who represented Portugal at Miss Universe in November. She made history as the first trans woman to place in the top 20. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

I wanted to compete in pageants for many years, but this was the first year I was able to do so after Miss Portugal changed its rules in 2022 to allow transgender women to compete.

I was inspired by Angela Ponce, the first trans woman to compete at Miss Universe. When Angela represented Spain in 2018, I really saw how it impacted the community and how it impacted so many other trans women who maybe felt like some things weren't meant for them. Angela became a role model for us all, and from that moment on I've been trying to compete at Miss Universe. If she was able to achieve it, why can't I achieve it?

I'm so happy I'm now able to be part of that story as well.

When I was very young, by 3 or 4 years old, I already knew that I was different from others. All the people around me, especially the adults, saw how I was and what my essence was and there was a lot of wanting to change me or wanting me to change.

At 13, I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. By high school, I was expressing myself as Marina, that was already my social identity. When I turned 18, I took the steps to finalize my physical transition.

There was a lot of bullying in school. I was stoned, I was pushed into locker rooms. I had to learn how to deal with that into adulthood. I can't change people's reactions to my existence, all I can do is keep my energy balanced. I don't take things personally. Now that I'm Miss Portugal, even if people did not respect me then, I feel like they respect me now — even if it's just a little bit. Because they know more about my story.

I was more surprised than anyone when I won Miss Portugal. Almost all the girls that were competing, they've done many pageants —they had five, six, or seven years of pageants behind them. So I went into it feeling quite green compared to them and feeling the pressure. I did feel like I was at a disadvantage because it was the first year I could compete, but it was so good to see how welcoming they all were.

I went into Miss Portugal thinking it would be a great experience and that I might get some confidence tips. Even if I didn't make it this year, I planned to come back next year. But it ended up being me!

The moment I won, I did feel a lot of happiness — but also a lot of pressure. Some girls have a year and three months to prepare for Miss Universe, I had three weeks. But I do feel that my life has prepared me quite well for this. Once I won, I felt like, OK this is my moment.

The Miss Portugal Organization really supported me, and there were a lot of people backing me. Designers, hairdressers, stylists, everyone came out of everywhere in Portugal and said "I want to help you." I really felt the power of the community, and I felt the queer community really backed me with everything they had to offer — and that was the most beautiful part. Even my national costume was done in one week. It was a dream I've had for many years to take an iconic image of the woman in the Portuguese revolution and make that into a national costume for Miss Universe. I contacted the designer, a queer artist in Lisbon, and he designed it in a week and I took it to Miss Universe. It's something I'm so happy we got to do.

The beginning of the Miss Universe competition was stressful. I didn't know what to expect because my pageant in Portugal was very small. It was completely different from anything I've experienced. Those first two days were rough, and then we were working a lot. I was sleeping like five to six hours on a good night. Sometimes I was prioritizing other things, like ironing or preparing my hair for the next day, so I was sleeping like four hours. Trying to survive on four hours was challenging.

Meeting the fans at Miss Universe was one of the best parts. They would be there at the hotel lobby with cameras and phones every day. One day, there was a blogger from El Salvador who didn't want to film me because I'm trans. In the days after, the amount of people who came to the hotel to give me flowers, to give me teddy bears, to give me presents, it was overwhelming. It was so beautiful to see the love, and my community proved to me once again that I'm not alone and that they will back me up no matter what. The presence of the fans made the experience more human, and I really enjoyed it.

I felt a lot more supported in El Salvador than in Portugal. I did get negative and dark messages that were horrible and unacceptable, but I feel there is a need to focus on the positive because that's what shined through at the end of the day.

When I went to compete internationally, I was not expecting the number of families with kids, older people, middle-aged people, or regular couples that would just come to scream "Miss Portugal!" or "Marina, we love you!" It was very sweet and that's what I want to remember forever, that love and support.

Making it to the top 20 at Miss Universe was an amazing experience. I cannot lie that I wanted to go further, absolutely, but I was so happy that my work was valued by the organization. I'm very happy for the little girls and young women that are at home watching now because they get a whole new and different perspective of women's beauty being celebrated on TV and on as big of a platform as Miss Universe.

I feel like this is part of our growth as a society. Now we're part of the next generation's idea of who can be celebrated and who can be a role model. In the next few years, it will be very interesting to see how Miss Universe evolves. I'll be watching every year to see it and I'm very excited for this journey for Miss Universe.

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